Asha

men and their brains>>asha,in a man's shoes..

Thursday, September 13, 2007 // 2:27 PM

SOMETIMES WE LADIES WONDER,JUST WHAT THE FREAKIN HELL IS GOING THROUGH MY MAN'S MIND?MY CRUSH'S MIND?THAT CUTE BOY'S MIND?THE LIST IS ENDLESS,AND WE ARE LEFT CLUELESS?!?!?!I'VE DONE LOTSA SURVEYS AND RESEARCH.THIS IS WHAT I HAVE COME OUT WITH.GET UR BF'S OR GUY FRIENDS TO RATE ME.AM I TRUE OR NOT????FEAST DARLINGS...=)

100 THINGS ASHA KNOWS ABOUT GUYS

6 THINGS THEY LOVE ABOUT US
1)We come with all the right play bits-tits,ass...
2)we spend an hour inside a restroom and come out exactlylooking like we did before we went in.
3)the way we look at them.
4)our mussed-up hair when we've just gotten up.
5)our goofy grins when we look at children and babies.
6)when we say that its not his fault,he's to good for the job and that the boss is an ass anyway-after he screwed up at work.

10 QUESTIONS THEY WISH WE STOP ASKING
1)"WHERE have you been?"
2)"WHEN are you coming home?"
3)"will you STOP that?"
4)"WHERE are you?"
5)"WHO are you looking out?"
6)"do you think i'm FAT?"
7)"who's that girl my friend's best friend's little sister saw you having lunch with today?"
8)"WHAT do you think of my FAMILY?"
9)"WHEN are you going to spend time with me?"
10)"WHAT are you thinking?"

5 SIGNS THEY WILL BE GOOD IN BED
1)they start with kisses and massages
2)a well-made bed
3)they ask us what we'd like from the menu
4)they find the way we hop about on one foot while trying to get those knickers off sexy
5)they french kiss us before we brush our teeth

3 QUESTIONS THEY WISHED WE ASKED MORE OFTEN
1)"what's your NUMBER?"
2)"what say we skip the whole 'movie-dinner-walk by the beach' thing and just go home and screw our brains out?"
3)"would you like another BLOW-JOB?'
***actually,they don't really want us to ask all those questions.it only means trouble for them!=)

5 SCARIEST PHRASES
1)"my PERIOD'S LATE!"
2)"my MUM want's to get to know you"
3)"let's go SHOPPING!"
4)"we need to TALK"
5)"MEET MY PARENTS"

4 PICK-UP LINES THAT WILL GET THEM ANYTIME
1)"my name is xxx and you can call me anytime"
2)"hey there,big boy"
3)"can i buy u a drink?"
4)"wana just laze at my place?,there's no one at home.."

6 SIGNS THEY'LL BE GOOD DADS
1)they keep the hardy boys,nancy drew,famous five,secret seven,noddy,tintin and axterix comics.
2)they have the personality of a four year old
3)they can clean the cat's litter without gagging
4)they have a sudden interest in family and cartoon movies
5)they pass that promo that comes with a fab sports cars,gong-li look alike secretary just to spend more time with you.
6)they can survive on just four hours of sleep

3 SIGNS THEY HAVE A BIG PENIS
1)they don't talk about it
2)they insist going down on us to start with
3)there's no such thing as a big penis.if you don't believe me,ask your mum.

3 SIGNS THEY HAVE A SMALL PENIS
1)they don't talk about it
2)they insist going down on us to start with
3)there's no such thing as a small penis.if you don't belive me,ask your dad.

10 THINGS THAT CAN KILL AN ERECTION
1)smell
2)poor grooming
3)granny panties
4)armpit hair
5)our eyes roll behind and we start talking in a wierd language
6)our mouth's still full and we're still talking
7)we start talking cute
8)we start naming their private parts."does big boy wanna come out and play now!!!??"
9)we watch the clock
10)our cat/dog is watching the both of us

8 THINGS THAT CAN INSPIRE AN ERECTION
1)lingerie
2)sexual confidence
3)"come-to-bed" eyes
4)nice smelling hair.serious
5)anything with strings
6)us licking an ice cream cone
7)big tits and a nice butt
8)actually,anything...

5 MEN WE SHOULD AVOID
1)liars
2)any man who calls his penis "big boy"
3)possesive men-they're hopelessly insecure and a relationship with any sort would only end in a ruin
4)casanovas
5)any man who is mean to animals.even centipedes

4 SIGNS THEY'RE NOT GOIN TO CALL
1)they don't ask forour num and make no effort to take note of it even when you're dispensing it
2)they smile excessively
3)they say,too enthusiastically "i'll call you"
4)they use our namecard to pick their teeth

5 SIGNS THEY'RE GOIN TO CALL
1)they make an attempt early on in the conversation to get our number
2)they pay attention to us all evening
3)their tongues hang out when they get our number
4)they make us write their number everywhere,on paper..the forehead....
5)they start getting goofy

6 SIGNS THAT THEY ARE A KEEPER
1)they buy us a life insurance policy on our birthday
2)they visit our parents when we are away,overseas
3)they spend as much time cuddling us as they do on sex
4)after a disastrous holiday,they give us a hug and tell us sincerely-"that was fun"
5)when we come back comatose after a cosmopolitan-heavy girls night out,they clean us up and put us to bed
6)they offer to buy us sanitary pads

7 THINGS WE SHOULD NEVER EVER THROW FROM THEIR BEDROOM
1)their punk rock cds and rocky dvds
2)t-shirts-only they can tell when it's expired
3)their empty jim-beam bottles and pizza collection boxes
4)ex-girlfriend photos
5)their smelly bedsheets
6)their karunguni stuff.busted vcd player,mags
7)their worn-out boxers

10 THINGS THEY DO WHEN WE ARE NOT LOOKING
1)scratch their balls
2)fart loudly
3)air their tummies in front of the fan
4)sniff their socks and underwear
5)surf the net for nude photos
6)eat out of the cooking pot
7)play games with their handphone in the toilet when they're suppose to be bathing
8)pluck nostril hair
9)sniff our underwear
10)finish our fav box of chocolates and leave the empty box in the hope we'll never find out.

it's kinda nice being a guy for a day...
but being a girl is a thrilling rollercoaster ride!!!

love,
asha

***soo,guys....
love me...