bias-ED

it's really difficult to find a hairdresser that can give us what we want.either the cut is all disastrously wrong or it looks great when you leave the salon, but starts to look bad the very next day!

WHY???
Because we ladies give our hairdressers free rein to do whateva they want and then we end up being disappointed.

HOW TO GET WHAT WE WANT?

1)COMMUNICATE
-tell the hairstylist what you want.
-flip through mags and tear out pics of the hairstyles you want.
-can't find pics of what you want?then find pics of the hairstyles you DON'T want and show them to your hairstylist.it will give him or her an idea of your preferences.

2)ASK QUESTIONS
-never be afraid to ask your hairstylist questions like,
"can i still tie my hair up?","does lighter mean you're layering my hair?","how short?two inches?"
*remember it is your mane of glory,and only YOU have complete CONTROL of it!

3)UNDERSTAND YOUR FACE SHAPE
-my dears,our hairstyles will largely depend on the propotions of our faces.i might dig victoria becks latest bob, but my face shape ain't like hers.
-to find out what shape you are,look in the mirror and place a ruler at the side of your face,and move it such as it follows the contours of the face above and below the cheek line.you'd see that your face might be broader at the top and tapered towards the bottom,vice versa.etc.etc.
once you get that,
the rule is simple:add hair volume where your face tapers the most and reduce it where it broadens!

EASY-PEASY!

ASHA'S LIFE SAVING HAIR TIPS!

TEST AND TRIAL
-before plunging into a haircut with a new hairdresser.try a wash and blow beforehand.OBSERVE.how the hairdressers behave around customers and how customers react to them.
ASHA's mantra is:MORE CUT,LESS BLOW!
if you see a cut taking only 15 mins and the styling and blow drying taking an hour,
DITCH THAT SALON!

DRESS YOURSELF
-by turning up in what you usually wear,you will be able to see if the final product suits your style and whether its out of place.

SHAMPOO GIRL
-never ever let them shampoo your hair first before they discuss the cut you are going to get.DON'T! EVEN IF THEY TELL YOU IT'S FREE!
why?it's impossible to see how your hair is goin to behave when its wet.a good stylist should look at your hair dry before sending you to get shampooed.so if they're about to sud you before you even get a chance to speak,tell them to stop immediately!

BLOW DRY YOURSELF!
-this is only for those who dare and can be bothered.the advantage is,if you blow dry yourself,it will give you the most accurate idea of how your cut is going to look for the next few months and allow you to modify it accordingly.


i hope my article will help those MANES IN DISTRESS!
to kinky,i dono wat exact hairstlye would actually suit u,but i damn well hope this will NOT get you A BAD HAIR DAY!


**we all can have the greatest expensive haircuts to the cheapest and d.i.y ones,but its the confidence that gets you the attention...


love,
asha
(been through bad haircuts,never going through it again!)


*greatest condolences to nurin jazlin's family...your sorrows are deeply felt.

ladies,log on to Nurinjazlin.blogspot.com as it reveals the heart wrenching story of an innocent girl who was brutally and beastly tortured and murdered.
spend a moment and reflect on your life,as i will in mine too...

What are the most IRRITATING things in the world to you?
asha's lists some of the stuff that BUGS her like HELL!!!

LIFT ME UP
Honey,pounding the lift buttons like you're a professional boxer ain't gonna make it move any faster.Same goes for those huge traffic light knobs.You're not going to stop traffic just because you are pressing it again and again and yet again.And would it kill you to hold the lift door open and wait the three seconds i would take to reach it?Don't think i can't see you frantically pressing the "door close" button as if your life depended on it.

POLE DANCING
It's sardine city with the office crowd clamouring to go home on the mrt.It's hot and humid.and it certainly ain't fragant in here.So you're certainly not helping by leaning your whole body against the pole meant for ten pairs of hands to hold on to.And stop giving me dirty looks and tsk-tsking when my fingers accidentally touch your back as i grab the pole to prevent from stumbling when the mrt jerks.jerk.

BAGGING IT
I am downright impressed that you paid double the fare so that you could dump your shopping bags on the seat next to you.Oh,what was it again?You didn't pay for two?Then its pretty funny that my butt paid full fare and its gota stand in the crammed busload while your retail loot hitches a free ride.Hilarious.

RETAIL BUDDY
Don't think i'm ungrateful for the personalised and undivided attention you are giving to me.I am appreciative of your intent to ensure you're on a hand to help should i need any.But must you stand barely 20 cm away and cast beady eyes in my direction,matching me step for step as i walk?I already have a shadow and even she takes an occasional day off.

BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP
Yes those are pores.Yes,they are big.No,i don't need $400 worth of your facial products to make them disappear.Neither do i need the cosmetics with a $300 price tag to hide them.Why?I like them.They're my best friends.We go shopping and everywhere together...

DIGGING FOR GOLD
Oh,for heaven's sake.Those are nostrils not a potential escape route!And puhleaseeee...
Do.Not.Flick.
Tissues were invented for a reason you know.


so there you have it..i'm suddenly pissed off right now.ARGHHHH!
now at the count of three,everyone roll your eyes...all together now...


with lotsa disgust,
Asha
(the B.I.T.C.H is back!)

SOMETIMES WE LADIES WONDER,JUST WHAT THE FREAKIN HELL IS GOING THROUGH MY MAN'S MIND?MY CRUSH'S MIND?THAT CUTE BOY'S MIND?THE LIST IS ENDLESS,AND WE ARE LEFT CLUELESS?!?!?!I'VE DONE LOTSA SURVEYS AND RESEARCH.THIS IS WHAT I HAVE COME OUT WITH.GET UR BF'S OR GUY FRIENDS TO RATE ME.AM I TRUE OR NOT????FEAST DARLINGS...=)

100 THINGS ASHA KNOWS ABOUT GUYS

6 THINGS THEY LOVE ABOUT US
1)We come with all the right play bits-tits,ass...
2)we spend an hour inside a restroom and come out exactlylooking like we did before we went in.
3)the way we look at them.
4)our mussed-up hair when we've just gotten up.
5)our goofy grins when we look at children and babies.
6)when we say that its not his fault,he's to good for the job and that the boss is an ass anyway-after he screwed up at work.

10 QUESTIONS THEY WISH WE STOP ASKING
1)"WHERE have you been?"
2)"WHEN are you coming home?"
3)"will you STOP that?"
4)"WHERE are you?"
5)"WHO are you looking out?"
6)"do you think i'm FAT?"
7)"who's that girl my friend's best friend's little sister saw you having lunch with today?"
8)"WHAT do you think of my FAMILY?"
9)"WHEN are you going to spend time with me?"
10)"WHAT are you thinking?"

5 SIGNS THEY WILL BE GOOD IN BED
1)they start with kisses and massages
2)a well-made bed
3)they ask us what we'd like from the menu
4)they find the way we hop about on one foot while trying to get those knickers off sexy
5)they french kiss us before we brush our teeth

3 QUESTIONS THEY WISHED WE ASKED MORE OFTEN
1)"what's your NUMBER?"
2)"what say we skip the whole 'movie-dinner-walk by the beach' thing and just go home and screw our brains out?"
3)"would you like another BLOW-JOB?'
***actually,they don't really want us to ask all those questions.it only means trouble for them!=)

5 SCARIEST PHRASES
1)"my PERIOD'S LATE!"
2)"my MUM want's to get to know you"
3)"let's go SHOPPING!"
4)"we need to TALK"
5)"MEET MY PARENTS"

4 PICK-UP LINES THAT WILL GET THEM ANYTIME
1)"my name is xxx and you can call me anytime"
2)"hey there,big boy"
3)"can i buy u a drink?"
4)"wana just laze at my place?,there's no one at home.."

6 SIGNS THEY'LL BE GOOD DADS
1)they keep the hardy boys,nancy drew,famous five,secret seven,noddy,tintin and axterix comics.
2)they have the personality of a four year old
3)they can clean the cat's litter without gagging
4)they have a sudden interest in family and cartoon movies
5)they pass that promo that comes with a fab sports cars,gong-li look alike secretary just to spend more time with you.
6)they can survive on just four hours of sleep

3 SIGNS THEY HAVE A BIG PENIS
1)they don't talk about it
2)they insist going down on us to start with
3)there's no such thing as a big penis.if you don't believe me,ask your mum.

3 SIGNS THEY HAVE A SMALL PENIS
1)they don't talk about it
2)they insist going down on us to start with
3)there's no such thing as a small penis.if you don't belive me,ask your dad.

10 THINGS THAT CAN KILL AN ERECTION
1)smell
2)poor grooming
3)granny panties
4)armpit hair
5)our eyes roll behind and we start talking in a wierd language
6)our mouth's still full and we're still talking
7)we start talking cute
8)we start naming their private parts."does big boy wanna come out and play now!!!??"
9)we watch the clock
10)our cat/dog is watching the both of us

8 THINGS THAT CAN INSPIRE AN ERECTION
1)lingerie
2)sexual confidence
3)"come-to-bed" eyes
4)nice smelling hair.serious
5)anything with strings
6)us licking an ice cream cone
7)big tits and a nice butt
8)actually,anything...

5 MEN WE SHOULD AVOID
1)liars
2)any man who calls his penis "big boy"
3)possesive men-they're hopelessly insecure and a relationship with any sort would only end in a ruin
4)casanovas
5)any man who is mean to animals.even centipedes

4 SIGNS THEY'RE NOT GOIN TO CALL
1)they don't ask forour num and make no effort to take note of it even when you're dispensing it
2)they smile excessively
3)they say,too enthusiastically "i'll call you"
4)they use our namecard to pick their teeth

5 SIGNS THEY'RE GOIN TO CALL
1)they make an attempt early on in the conversation to get our number
2)they pay attention to us all evening
3)their tongues hang out when they get our number
4)they make us write their number everywhere,on paper..the forehead....
5)they start getting goofy

6 SIGNS THAT THEY ARE A KEEPER
1)they buy us a life insurance policy on our birthday
2)they visit our parents when we are away,overseas
3)they spend as much time cuddling us as they do on sex
4)after a disastrous holiday,they give us a hug and tell us sincerely-"that was fun"
5)when we come back comatose after a cosmopolitan-heavy girls night out,they clean us up and put us to bed
6)they offer to buy us sanitary pads

7 THINGS WE SHOULD NEVER EVER THROW FROM THEIR BEDROOM
1)their punk rock cds and rocky dvds
2)t-shirts-only they can tell when it's expired
3)their empty jim-beam bottles and pizza collection boxes
4)ex-girlfriend photos
5)their smelly bedsheets
6)their karunguni stuff.busted vcd player,mags
7)their worn-out boxers

10 THINGS THEY DO WHEN WE ARE NOT LOOKING
1)scratch their balls
2)fart loudly
3)air their tummies in front of the fan
4)sniff their socks and underwear
5)surf the net for nude photos
6)eat out of the cooking pot
7)play games with their handphone in the toilet when they're suppose to be bathing
8)pluck nostril hair
9)sniff our underwear
10)finish our fav box of chocolates and leave the empty box in the hope we'll never find out.


it's kinda nice being a guy for a day...
but being a girl is a thrilling rollercoaster ride!!!

love,
asha

***soo,guys....
love me...

















*Forget about losing a guy in ten days.you've lost him.your once purrfect relationship is GONE!
you need a new mission:it's the ultimate EX-treme action plan to get you glowing,smiling and dancing right into your power.
lets get into a whirlwind tour and start celebrating your life as YOU again!

DAY 1-GET A GODDESS MAKEOVER
We know the value of the look good-feel good mantra.So,get a fashion overhaul.pay a visit to the hairdresser and pour out your sorrows as you reinvent yourself with a radical new hairdo.don't stop there,get a facial,a set of fancy manicure/pedicure,some seriously sexy new lingerie(refer to previous articles on hot to show on lingerie) and choosig a killer outfit that says "I'M BACK!". Spare nobody when you're scraping off your old-beau grime.
ASHA'S TIP:Round up ur gf's and have a whole lot of fun doing this together!

DAY 2-REDECORATE YOUR ROOM
If your room is more boo than bodiour,it's time for some exfoliation and extermination.be ruthless.Remove his photos,his stuff,anything that is him from your room.dispose it or place it in a gift box(you may want to look back one day) and place it far,far away from your sight.
Get scented candles,plush cushions,floweres,teddies....
consider it a blessed welcome to the great new men who will enter your life,and better yet,your new sexy lair.

DAY 3-BULLS EYE
Get creative.make a dartboard with his face stuck at the bulls eye.make him look ridiculous!i drew mine with a bikini with lotsa armpit hair and granny panties =)
then get the darts,throw it!make holes in his face!scream if you need to!curse if you wan to!just,let it go....

DAY 4-TAKE THE SMV TEST
when you are single,it is important to test your SMV(singles market value)
you've made an effoet to upgrade yourself,it's time to put yourself on the market and survey!
round up your gf's for a night out on the town,read the signs and take notice who your potential buyers are.it is a great gauge to finding out how far you've come in just four days.its a great way to see how you've moved on and moved up.and if you've officially and permanently shifted into a better district zone for men-CONGRATS!
*I'm not teaching you to be desperate and scout for boys/men.
i'm just telling you to have fun and be proud being a girl!
ASHA'S TIP:smile!smile!smile!its what kills those men!
throw your shabby sulky face far---far---far---away!!!

DAY 5-RELEASE THE APHRODITE
ASHA'S RULE:A MAN IS EASILY REPLACEABLE WITH ALONG ROD!
Yes,uber-cool asha has gone patpong!and that means girls,this dance is no dirty no more,its sexayyyee!pole dancin classes are easily availble in singapore.rest assured the instructors are ladies and the clients are all women.if you're a litlle to conservative, try belly dancing or a new hip hop groove!!!wateva it is,it will help you rediscover and reclaim your gorgeous seductive self.get in touch with the wanton sex goddess within,shed some calories and tell yourself,he just lost a sexayee gorgeous girl.MUAHAHAHAHA!yes,repeat it again,and again.

DAY 6-GO SHOPPING!
yes darls,it is thereauputic.shopping on weekdays is usually better.it keeps you away from the crowd.make it relaxing.i suggest you go on your own to get some me time.
ASHA'S TIP:Get a pair of shoes,killer heels,wedges of fancy sneakers..sing that craig david song..."i'm walking away...."

DAY 7-GET GEEKY OVER BOOKS
Find trouble sleeping at night?you miss the sms'es,goodnight kisses ang hugs?get a goo book to read.have a warm bath before you sleep everyday and drink a glass of warm milk before u retire to your bed.read the book ..and you will fall asleep soon.

DAY 8-LEND A HELPING HAND
When you were in a relationship,it was just you and him.
come to think of it,my 100% was given to him and when he left,i had nothing.and i realised i hadn't open up to anybody else in my life.thats why i was such at great loss.soo,we girls have to stop being self-centered and the "all about me!" shit(i hate it when girls say that!).surf the net for various organisations such as children's home,old folk's home or SPCA.be a volunteer.You've beautify yourself physically,beautify and cleanse your heart from all the hatred you have for him.
*this article is to help you forget that man that hurt you not stop you from loving.also,it will help you fill the days where it use to be the days you went out with him,like tha weekends,rather than you moan and groan about him,i'd rather getya ass up and lend a helping hand!

DAY 9-RECOVER AND RENEW
Spas are what to single girls what brothels are to men.its relaxing and it drains all the stress and the heartaches you had for him.tight on budget?(refer to my d.i.y spa article)

DAY 10-THROW A SINGLES BASH
Get all your girlfriends to bring a single datable guy each to your party.the bottomline is:the guy must be someone your friend would date and you do not have feelings for him.
you know the old saying-
one woman's trash is another woman's soul mate
work the crowd,and if you're feeling tongue-tied,grab a plate of eats and hand them around,it's a good way to find someone who might be interesting in nibbling your tasty treats,in more ways than one=)
if plan A is not for you,i have a plan b.
with your gf's,throw an all girls party.create a theme,lets say..
pyjamas or fun and flirty???watch chick flicks and funny movies,doll up each other,binge on snacks and have a rockin good time!

soo,you've reached day 10.you have completed the mission.i really hope my tips were useful.if not all,i hope 1 or 2 tips work well for you.that secret is to keep yourself busy.
i wish you the best in finding tha man that suits you best.nobody said that breakups were easy,neither is the healing process.give yourself time.and it will disappear,only memories remain.

HOLD YOUR HEADS UP HIGH SISTERS,YOU ARE SINGLE,ALREADY AVAILABLE AND ALWAYS READY TO MINGLE!!!

Lotsa love,
asha (tha love docter)

specially dedicated to elaine,switie...tis for you...

*so i've completed my love profiles,feel free to drop your comments!darls!i need your comments!!!!



HOW TO READ BODY LANGUAGE??
when communicating is concerned,body language is important.that goes to flirting to...soo if you wanna be in the game,make sure you noe the rules.

to show you're interested:
*face or point in the direction of your date.obviously this will come naturally if you ARE interested in your date.
*lean towards him when making an important point in the conversation.
*sit with one leg crossed over the other,but point your knees towards him.
*look intensely into his eyes when he talks,not at the rest of the people in the restaurant.
*lightly brush against his sleeve or arm every soo often,making it look unintentional.

signs he's definitely INTERESTED:
*His voice goes soft and he stares straight into your eyes when he talks to you.
*he sneaks a glance at you from across the room while you're both in conversation with other people.
*his eyes get soft when he looks at you.
*he watches your lips when you talk.
*his friends start asking you what you think of him.
*his eyes travel in a circle around your face and finish off at your eyes.
*he behaves differently around you.if he's usually loud,he gets uncharacteristically soft spoken around you.
*he remembers the minute things you talk about in previous conversations,things you can hardly remember saying.
*when talkin in a group,his voice changes ever soo slightly.

what to avoid eating!!!
Darlins,in your date includes a meal,kindly steer clear from foods that can ruin ur image.please,maintain your glamourr..

SEAWEED
sticks to your teeth like velcro and they're dark and conspicous!soo,no temaki rolls ayte!

CORNCOB
there's never a pretty way to eat this.and when those fibrous kernels get stuck in between your teeth...

LAKSA
the gravy splatters on your face and your outfit,the green parsley garnishing may well find a home in between your teeth.

MESSY PASTAS
long strand pastas like spagetti,linguine,fettucine and tangliatelle require a deft hand with a spoon and fork.urgh!not forgetting those messy tomato and squid ink sauces!

SPINACH
this vegetable whether baked,boiled,fried or steamed-is a no-no for dates!trust me!

CHOCOLATES AND STRAWBERRIES
aphrodisiac or not,these foods are ohh soo sexy...until you smile!

RAW GARLIC AND ONIONS
oh,the breath,ladies,the breath!not to mention a bloated mid-section an hour later.

5 stay fresh tips
fresh looking makeup is the best accesory on a date.no point spendin tons of hours dollin up and you're goin to wilt before dessert is served.

1)pick a foundation that compliments your skin type.water-based foundations for those with oily skin(to avoid lookin grey and greasy when night is up)foundation with emollient content for dry skin(to prevent skin from lookin dry and crinkly)

2)to make eye makeup stay put,apply a touch of concealer(or an eyeshadow base) before liner or shadow to help colour stay put.

3)go easy on the base though,or eye makeup might very well crease.

4)to avoid premature smudging,apply eyeshadow only on the lids,not between the crease and brow bones.

5)eyeliner should be topped with a powder shadow in a similar shade,applied with a skinny angled brush.alternatively,try liquid liner.

biggest dating mistakes women make!!!

1)TRYING TO HARD
if the chemistry isn't there darl,it means it isn't.you'll only make yourself look idiotic cause u laughed/giggled/talked to much.besides why should YOU be compensating for the lack of spark?its his problem that he doesn't warm up to a babe like you.

2)OD-ING ON BOOZE
using a lil alchohol to loosen up on a date is fine but goin "hic" throughout it is a bad etiquette.think sips,not swigs.if he's gonna send you home looking like a rag doll,he's gonna lose respect for you.

3)ACTING ALL PHONY
yes,follow that old age advice-being yourself never fails.
c'mon girls,TALK in a NORMAL ACCENT,wear your hair in the way that's most comfortable for you,slip into flats if 3inch heels make you walk like julia roberts.
THERE'S ONLY ONE OF YOU-use that to your advantage.

4)TALKIN NON STOP ABOUT SEX
its a natural and sizzling topic to venture to,but if you avoid the topic altogether,the un-verbalised sexual tension will have him fantasising about you after the date,and in his sleep,and tomorrow....


love,
asha (tha flirt guru)

♥asha
♥age 17
♥aspiring fashionista
♥dreams of opening fashion police academy
♥looks up to ashley isham
♥with perserverance,almost anything is possible

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