Thursday, July 26, 2007 // 5:58 PM
CLIQUES…r u one of ‘them’???
was I in a clique ever in my life?oh well,I ain’t sure whether it was to be considered a clique or what so eva…but I gues there were times occasionally where they were copycats in the group and everybody had kinda same mentality…well,all that were way back during lower secondary days where we were kinda afraid that we were going to be left out and we just wanted to belong n be liked.i guess cliques or being in a large group of popular girls gave me sense of security.
in my case,being in one kinda made me feel “beautiful” cus trust me, my friends were gorgeous n guys were just diggin them at school…whereas me..i was the normal average nerd girl that carried a big bag with huge ugly paperbags filled with books everyday.yea…hahaha…I was…umm…kinda geeky princess…ryte ema?
and if it wasn’t bad enuf I had the geek title…boys started saying that I look like a man and I had a sex operation.LIKE OMG!i was like…do I really?and then i thought I could ran to my “friends” and kinda let it all out…but by then,the bad shit already spreaded to them and they to were callin me a shemale!...and I didn’t like scream or stood up for myself.in fact,I laughed it off and crack jokes about myself that I had a hiden penis and all.
I went home, crying…..
I felt werse and werse everyday.when boys started callin me that in front of them,da clique wud laugh too…suckish.but I didn dare speak up.
and then came the second occasion when I had my menses.apparently it kinda overflowed and it stained the chair,my best friend,rafee…cudn do much cus he was a guy…although he did try to calm me down..but the girls I thought were real friends just thought that I was a chore and didn really wanna help me,instead…they went like…we’d wait for u downstairs….but I was fortunate to have one friend…she stood by me and help me to clean the mess I made.
afta the whole scary ordeal,she asked…does your friendship with your friends work that way?
I didn noe how to answer her….
and I finally came to a realisation that being with them didn make me feel beautiful.it made me feel smaller about myself.i was living in their shadow…and I was sharing their limelight.if people knew me it wasn’t because I was somebody but it was because I was with them.and It hit me that whatever decisions I had made wasn’t utterly because I wanted to do it.it was to please them.i wanted them to know that I could be like them…they must have thought I was a freak….
oh well,I grew out of it and I got a new found confidence thanks to my boyfriend and the support of my true friends.ironically,the clique are still friends with me..gud pals…gud girlfriends.i guessed…we all mature over a period time and we value friendship more right?emma,shira,izyan(I miss you girl…I cn’t seem to reach u),ili,shikin,rinnie….we’ve grown up a lil and we’ve got our own stand and point of view..and wani,thanks for being my wondergirl wen I had my menses…its all in the past now…and its kinda funny thinkin back ryte peeps?
but not everytink works well like the way it did for me…if you are stuck in a clique..here are some tips for you to just get out of it and not be a dumb dumb sheep…
1)firstly,you gotta tell yourself that you are special.yes2…say it..chant it!
2)go to school bare-faced.no mascara no compact and then tell them that their makeup makes their face look grey.(with an innocent face)
3)read a guwd book during recess and chew on an apple.
it gets you away from their crappy gossips and if they tease you on why you’re eatin an apple…tell them 2 apples per day…gives a better body and better skin.if they’re unsure…ask them to read my blog!
4)when schools done,tell them u need to rush off.enrol urself to belly dancing or aerobics…u’d make new friends.
5)lastly,tell them u find that its childish being in a clique and not having your own stand.tell them they’re a bunch of mean,ugly,oily-face girls whu depend on makeup everyday to cover those big ugly scars……
(if they beat you up,call the teacher…I cnt help you with that!hahaha)
I’ve uploaded some pictures of myself…why don’t you tell me and comment whether I look like some she male or not??feast…
credits to my b.f-tank u pumpkin for being patient and suportin me!ur the photgrapher for the day!
sweet revenge,
asha the geeky princess
